Bear with me a moment while I spew out some random thoughts.
There are a few things I'm REALLY good at while Bobby is out of town:
1) blogging
2) letting the schedule fly out the window
3) spending money
4) staying up late at night
5) catching up on to-do lists, especially if the tasks involve spending money or staying up late
There are a few things I'm REALLY good at while I'm pregnant:
1) getting emotional
2) forgetting obvious and important things
3) trying to prove I can still do everything like I used to, which I can't
Those conditions together, though? I'm a bit of a flake: tired, overcommitted and careless with commitments, easily emotional and yet often detached, just kinda living each moment on a whim...whims like eating out for dinner, spontaneous movie nights and initiating potty training. Buddy gets it, he loves it, but I'm the one asking him every hour if he'd like to have a potty turn. Who knows how far we are from self-directed elimination behaviors? The allure of a "whim" is that there's no commitment. Potty training is a serious commitment...but it still qualifies as a "whim" in that all other commitments fall by the wayside in order to focus on developing that single skill. With one decision, I've "released" myself from all other non-essential to-do lists. Instantly. It's rather irresponsible of me in some ways, but I'm flying solo this week and riding a wave of hormones, so bear with me.
I cried today when the kids' music CD played a song about two brothers.
I buckled Robert into his car seat and then promptly locked him into the car, with my keys in the ignition, only minutes before I had to pick up Alice from Nature Camp.
*sigh*
I called Alice's camp to tell them I would be a bit late picking her up. The locksmith came in a matter of minutes, sprung Buddy loose, and wouldn't accept payment. He said he doesn't charge for baby rescues. I didn't really know what to say to that...the lockout was completely my fault (and these accursed maternity pants WITHOUT pockets)...I felt more embarrassed by his generosity than grateful for it. Then the Nature Camp didn't charge me for the late pickup, even though their policy clearly states that parents will be charged $15 for every 10 minutes the child stays after pickup time. Again, instead of feeling grateful, I bristled that I wouldn't have a chance to "pay" for my oversight. No one held me to any of the natural consequences of my dumb mistake. I did something stupid and there's nothing I can do to make up for it. But I WANT to make up for it. And I'm still feeling embarrassed about it all. Pbbbbsh.
That's it. No more random thoughts to share. Blargh.
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Love your random thoughts. Something I don't have courage to do on my blog. I didn't realize Bobby was traveling again. As for the keys--I haven't done that yet, but I've had likewise stupid mistakes that others have mercifully overlooked. It seems to take me much longer to dismiss it than it does other people involved. You've been raised with a conscience that feels accountable and wants to make things right. You may feel that some how paying for mistakes makes them less embarrassing---like you are showing responsibility through payment. Wanting to be responsible is good, but so is learning to accept other's help and mercy. I've got a long way to go on that, but at least I'm recognizing it, even if I'm pretty poor about putting the principle into action.
ReplyDeleteDude who is this locksmith? just in case I lock my babes in the car. I mean, I did it once with sleeping Benjamin, and have been quite vigilant since, but one never does it on purpose.
ReplyDeleteHe works for Tri-Color Locksmiths on University. I did not catch his name. He said it was his personal policy not to charge for baby rescues. He sees it as a community service. He said the other drivers might charge for it, but he doesn't.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the frustrations. :o(
ReplyDeleteI've done lots worse. But it feels pretty dumb in the doing, I know.
Glad Bobby will be home for Father's Day.
Me too.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the generosity of strangers is a sweet shock. You have been on the generous end before, and will be again.
ReplyDeleteI locked Daniel in the car at the gas station (in Savoy) and after the fire men couldn't get it, the lock smith got him out free- in seconds. Pretty sure I wasn't even pregnant then *sigh*.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry though. Dumb pregnancy hormones- I had to put away my book while I was waiting for my oil change, since I forgot my handkerchief and I already couldn't see through my tears.
MATERNITY CLOTHES ARE THE WORST! You can definitely blame them for the whole mess.