Interesting Nut

Today was a special combined sacrament meeting for all three wards in our building. I had to come early to practice a choir piece one more time. Alice joined me. When we finished our practice and found where Bobby and the guys were sitting, I sat down next to James. He did the funniest thing. He begged to perform the choir number with me and Alice, even though he had never sung (nor heard!) the song before. I couldn't fathom his motivation...

"Do you want to stand up in front and have everyone look at you?"

"No."

"Then why?!"

"I just want to do it! I want to be with YOU."

"But you don't know the words or the tune."

"Look, I can read the words", pointing at the sheet music in my hand, "And I'll just sing with you. Trust me, Mom, I can do this!"

"Do you promise to sing? 'Cuz just standing there next to me will be a huge distraction from the music. I can't have that."

"Yes. I promise to sing."

"Mmmm. Gah! Ok."

I was completely befuddled that this boy, who shrinks at giving talks in Primary and won't make eye contact or speak English to any adult he doesn't already know well (and even then, it's more like 50/50 English and baby caveman) would propose such a thing!

But what kind of mom wouldn't be excited to see her child challenge his/her fears so willingly?

I couldn't think of a reason to make him stay on the pew. I let him come up with us, shaking my head all the way. 

And guess what? He really sang. Everything. No shyness, no wilting, no silliness or acting up. He behaved just like a choir member should.

Why?! WHY?!

Afterwards, his primary teacher (whom he's known for a whole year!) told him she was impressed to see him singing with the choir. James looked at his shoes and mumbled something unintelligible. It was hard to tell if he even recognized she was talking to him. Later, Bobby told James he did a good job. Again, no obvious response. If James was doing it for the attention, he sure doesn't show it like Alice and Robert do. Holy moly.

Did he really just want to be with me? Or to see if he could do it? Was that really enough motivation to overcome his fear of public performance and the post-performance accolades? I just can't believe it. There must be more. I'll ask him again in a while. See if his answer changes.

This James is an interesting nut. 

[Later: It turns out, James was a little upset that he couldn't go to the last practice with Alice and me. We were a little late, so the two of us had split off without telling the other kids about it. When James realized I wasn't there, he wanted to find me, but Bobby wouldn't let him sneak into the rehearsal uninvited. That's why James asked me about the performance. He did just truly want to be with me. Dude. This kid values my physical presence above and beyond my comprehension. I need to remember that about him. It's apparently a very important love language to him.]