It was a rough Sacrament Meeting today. One of the roughest I've had. Robert was noisily unhappy, Alice was clingy whiny, and Bobby was pale-faced and sick up on the stand. I just didn't want to be there anymore. I was one screaming fit away from banning Robert from all future sacrament meetings. Every week, he's bored, bored, bored! Whatever I bring to engage him, he chucks it or whacks it against the bench in front of us. He doesn't want me to hold him, but freaks out if I attempt to hold anyone or anything else. Snacks are a disaster (throw, pour, chew and spit out, hoard jealously until other kids are crying...get the picture?). Books are so-so, though very short-lived. He doesn't color. For those 70 minutes a week, he has zero interest in cars, dolls, toys, or even other kids! What DOES he want to play with? I'm open to any suggestions you might have.
When he gets loud, I take him out into the foyer and keep him on my lap. He freaks out screaming and crying. After a couple minutes, I ask if he would rather play quietly in the chapel or be loud out here in the foyer. He chooses the chapel, but half the time he's screaming and crying again just as I sit down. The boy just doesn't want to be there. (On second thought, the "leave Sac. Mtng. with Mom" is a mixed message. He wants my attention and he wants escape, so leaving the chapel gets him a fun little field trip in my arms with frustrated snuggling and whispered choices...maybe I should arrange for someone else to take him out :) Mwah ha ha haaaaa!)
By the way, he's his charming self once he gets out of the pew at the end of the meeting. Sunday School is free-range with an abundance of new toys and shared snacks to engage him (suddenly he's starving?!). We take him to Nursery play time the third hour. He's totally fine in both of those situations.
Argh. Anyone out there have experience with this?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
As the cool aunt with no kids, I have no experience, only encouragement. He will grow out of this. Someday you will get something out of sacrament meeting again. You are doing great! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I don't have experience with anything that severe. Time out worked pretty well for us. I would take him to an empty classroom and sit facing the corner. I'd try to avoid talking to him until his "time-out" time was up, then start negotiating about going back to sacrament meeting. I'd like to say it worked like a charm, but in reality it didn't. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Sometimes I'd have to take him out two or three times. But I was usually able to distract him with activities or friends during the meeting.
ReplyDeleteI empathize and wish you much luck. I agree that he'll eventually grow out of this phase and you'll be able to at least ask what he wants.
So I've contemplated sending my children to boarding school until they learn to be reverent but then Jason always points out that whole generations of English men have been permanently damaged by the process....anyway these suggestions come from someone who feels like it is a miracle every Sunday we survive without a melt down...so take them for what they are worth. Sticker books/stickers are exceptionally popular with all of my children, including Peach. We have special ones just for church that they never get to see except when they come out of the Sunday bag. I also have been known to bribe them with candy something they don't get at home. I like using smarties because they are small and I can dole them out one at a time. For kids that rarely get candy they are a rare treat. I hope these people with mellow kids who sit quietly reading the friend for an hour know how truly lucky they are! As for California...I can't believe you are so anti Susan. Ok so the cost are ridiculous, the drives horrendous, the smog gross...but you are close to the beach, the weather is fantastic, you have year round growing, and access to some of the best food in the country!!!! Have you ever seen the movie HOMEGROWN REVOLUTION? You could grow avocados in your back yard!!!! Had any of the interviews Jason had resulted in pay that was more then 1/3 the cost of living there we would have been all over that :) Good luck with sacrament meeting! Know there are moms all over the country suffering with you :)
ReplyDeleteOk so Levi is not (yet) to this stage, and with Benjamin it wasn't so hard since he was outnumbered by us. (Not to say it wasn't hard, but, still.)
ReplyDeleteThat said, I definitely remember being the older sister in this situation - Dad off for high council, Mom out with a middle sibling, and me in charge of the crazy toddler. Honestly, I usually just let him roam. This was my little brother Abe. I mean, people know what you're up against because they've been there. I find that it's not really a big disruption until the kid gets up on the stand.
I would sometimes just let him find a new area to hang out in and then quietly switch seats, so I can be closer. More like a Sunday School approach if you will. (Now, of course, this is after the sacrament portion of the meeting I'm talking about.)
I think that it didn't do permanent damage to my little brother on the "we sit with our family" front because he's so young, you know? Plus if you always start and begin with the family, always come back to the family when you come back in (assuming you go out), then it gets the message across.
The question I guess I would have to answer is what about Alice? Since Bobby's on the stand. My siblings were old enough to sit by themselves. And I guess if I were in your ward I'd say have her sit by us! Our families could sit together and that way you'd have some extra adults.
Anyway I'm just rambling here. Like I said, we're not quite there yet. If you find a magic secret, let me know!